On Saturday one of my lovely SELF LOVE IMMERSION ladies, uncovered a big rock in Body Image week. She told us that she had a pretty healthy mindset about body image, however she hated having her face in photos.
She said she felt she looked okay in the mirror but anytime she had a picture taken she really didn’t like it at all. She always has a beautiful purple chakra as her profile picture, rather than one of herself. All the other girls in the group and I can see when we look at her, is layers and layers of beauty. (She is the most incredibly warm, loving, beautiful lady) So we had a talk about it and discussed why this could be.
I asked her ‘does hating this version of yourself serve the person you wish to be now?’
Of course hating any version on yourself does not align with self love which is what we are aiming for in this live 12 week group course. This is what all the girls have invested in themselves in and are working towards.
I’ve been reading the science behind people who don’t like their picture being taken. It can be the fact that we only really see ourselves in mirrors, and since we are not completely symmetrical, when the pictures we see (taken by someone else) don’t look like who we see in the mirror. Like an almost but not quite right version of ourselves. Or I used to say my weird twin! We can feel a bit rejected or even betrayed by the camera.
Back when I was modelling, if a magazine flipped my picture (they did this a lot if they needed writing layout to fit around the shot a certain way) it wouldn’t even look like me! Probably nobody else would realize but I’d be thinking well that freckle is normally on the other side, that’s my left boob and I just look utterly weird ha
It’s interesting that 1000 people may have told you in your life how beautiful you are, but if one person said something negative, it’s probably that which your remember
Since the answer to my previous question (does hating this version of yourself serve the person you wish to be now) was ‘no’ I asked if she would be up for a challenge. She said yes. I asked her to switch her profile picture to one of herself. Perfect timing as she was heading to the hairdressers the same day.
Well of course so completed the task and looked absolutely stunning. She posted the picture and people started to comment.
As with a lot of people it can be hard to accept the compliments, which is another part of our self love journey, to be able to receive compliments from people. We tend to deflect them wayyyyy too often. Do you do this??
Eg. You look stunning on that photo…
oooooh I had just had my hair done I don’t usually look like that.
Or it was for a challenge. I wouldn’t normally put up a selfie.
Or I’m sorry for the selfie but…
oh thank you but I’m not really it was just good lighting.
I see lots of women writing this kind of thing.
You are you. A unique snowflake ️ Nobody else is like you. You’ve got your own special gift to share with this world and you’ve got two choices here:- either go on through your life hating yourself, in pictures, in the mirror, selfies whatever. Or choose love.
So what to do??
Rather than picking apart what you don’t like in a picture. I’ve totally been there by the way.
Omg look at my fat arm, I look shiny, ohhhh that’s my bad side, oh I look hideous.
Focus on what you do like. Like were you having a really fun time that day? Were you relaxing and not worrying about posing for a photo. Maybe you were spending time with people who you love.
It’s time to quit being so dam mean to your 2D self. She has feelings you know. There is absolutely no way you would say that to your friend or a 7 year old version of yourself is there. No. That would be so mean.
Also you don’t have a bad side. That’s a belief system, that is not real. You don’t even have sides! Every part of you is beautiful – because it comes from your mind, your heart, your everything!
Plus, there is a big world out there. A world that once these challenges are overcome is waiting to be explored.
This energy that is being drained by not accepting what IS could be used to do something incredible in the world. As I’m sat here writing this I’m looking into the ocean I am holding an intention for you to get over these blocks which keep you small and go do something really purposeful for your soul!!
When these blocks are removed. Neutralized thoughts. Old negative thought patterns now default to body and self loving. This is where actual magic happens.
If I hadn’t have got over my own challenges and remembered self love I would never have changed my whole life around. I would never have traveled the world. I would never have found the man of my dreams. I would never have moved to bali and fallen into this ‘work’ of helping women to overcome what is holding them back from what they truly desire. I would never have managed any of that.
Because I would still be feeling average and worthless and still trying to find love from an external source! In my case from a man. (The love was inside me the whole time ️️️)
Side note. If you have had years and years of talking badly about yourself to others. You may notice that people around you talk negatively about you. Even if it’s in gest. Close family, friends, children, work colleagues, partners. They may make comments that don’t make you feel good.
By not loving yourself you are teaching/giving permission to others to do the same.
I used to be guilty (totally unaware) of this, jokingly putting myself down, making big girl jokes about myself for a laugh.
When you do this you are hurting yourself. And you are giving others permission to do the same.
When you start to upgrade how you talk about yourself and to yourself your reality will upgrade. You will have to trust me on this one. (And the hundreds of women who I’ve coached around Self Love)
Language is very very powerful. It may take others around you a while to adjust. So be patient with them, love them anyway and stay true to yourself.
Tips for taking a great picture.
Do a 360 spin first to find where the light looks most flattering.
Don’t overthink it
Don’t take 100 shots. The first few will usually be the most natural.
Remember the person looking back at you (you) likes complements and love. She doesn’t like it when you are mean to her.
If you feel you look good, then you do. Simple.
Own it. There is nothing more inspiring than a girl who owns what she was given!
If someone offers you a compliment, take it smile and thank them.
Observe if you try to deflect it or try to turn it around so it’s a compliment for them.
Enjoy your life. Hating anything drains your energy, whilst enjoying everything and showing your gratitude for it fills you up!!
PS there are so many things to be thankful for. Having a camera, having a face, being able to see and being a free human who can do whatever she wishes with her life! What you going to do with yours????
Comment below if you liked this or have any feedback or thoughts.
Also if you are interested in joining the next group of the SELF LOVE IMMERSION send me a private message on here.
“I felt like I wanted a change. I need to love myself and really want to experience that I can change my happiness level. I was searching for something to get that for long but didn’t stick to things. I established doubts or didn’t think it would work, that life is just hard. I don’t know how exactly you did it but I have hope now and believe it is possible and that’s the biggest change. I feel different, more aware, treating myself better and love the fact that this is just the beginning.”
Sarah – week 8 SELF LOVE IMMERSION Frankfurt
The self love immersion is for you if you are a committed women who is looking to go from where you are now to:-
Finding self love, discovering your power, overcoming habitual patterns, understanding how by being your highest self serves everyone around you way better, realising your full potential and fully accepting your authentic self.
It’s a small intimate group of like minded ladies who over 12 weeks completely transform the way they view every aspect of life. We meet on Saturday mornings (on Skype – so completely location independent) and make the magic happen!! When you are fully heard and deeply supported, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. Whilst making deep and lasting relationships with fellow sisters. Plus it’s super duper fun and a great way to start your weekend.
For more info send me a message.